Driven by the rush
(First written April 2004)
I was pondering today why some people seem to be driven towards destructive behaviors. It started when I was watching TV and the increase of the sensuality and overt sexuality started to annoy me. I thought to myself, “Why not just take it to the end and look at the result. What the TV producers seem to want to show is people having sex all the time, anywhere, everywhere, with everyone.” Then I thought, “Why are people so drawn to this imagery anyway? They see the same poses, the same actions, often the same people over and over and over again, endlessly showing the same thing, and yet they are strongly motivated to see it again.” The porn industry profits billions of dollars annually because people, men especially, are driven by something to see these images. Consciously, it makes no sense, since the images show the same thing repeatedly. One would think that there would be a finite number of these pictures and then the interest would fade, but that is not the case. Men are willing to lose their jobs to view porn. They are willing to lose their marriages and catch a disease to have sex with a prostitute. They are willing to spend billions collectively to get a glimpse of these images of sex. They will sneak around and put hidden cameras in toilets to catch a grainy glimpse of a woman on the potty. Why do they do this? What drives it?
I have also heard about people that are called “adrenaline junkies”, and have seen people do things to put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of getting a thrill. Some people like to ride roller coasters; some go to scary movies; some people jump off of bridges with parachutes; and some jump face down off of cliffs with only a batman suit. There is a “rush” that happens when you do that, and I don’t mean the rush of the wind. The mind sees what is happening and pumps adrenaline into the bloodstream so that you can react more quickly to the perceived danger. The heart rate increases dramatically, as does the breathing. Time slows down and the action that only takes a minute seems like it took forever. Every detail is remembered vividly, the mind seemed focused completely on the moment. Then it is all over, and you are safely back on the ground. Whee! Now what was scary is associated with good feelings and laughter. But it fades and all that is left is a craving for another rush.
Soldiers returning from a war often have difficulty adjusting to life back home. They have come from the most intense situations where at any moment an enemy may pop up and attack, where their buddies have blown up in their faces, where they were with a team dedicated to a single purpose and highly trained to see it through. The adrenaline glands are doing overtime pumping into the bloodstream what is needed for an instant response. Awareness levels are off the scale. Every detail is heightened. Though they are in extreme peril, they have never felt more alive. What was intended to be a temporary chemical enhancement to get through a difficulty became the normal operating mode. Now suddenly, they are back home with no threat, no team, no purpose, and no rush. Now they face the daily mundane tasks of a job, a wife who needs his love and can’t begin to understand the moment-by-moment trauma that he just came from, a crying baby that all his finely tuned martial skills can’t quiet, and the total vacuum of purpose and meaning. The rush that defined his life is gone and there is very little that comes close to replicating that constant adrenaline-soaked environment.
The TV industry is the focus of many people’s entertainment. We get our news, our styles, our music, our laughs, and our emotional support from the things we see and hear on that screen. Thirty years ago (1970’s), the most titillating show on TV was probably “Love American Style” which pushed the boundaries of the “establishment” morality. Mostly, there were cop shows like Cannon or Hawaii Five-O. In the 1980’s, things were pushed a little bit more with “Three’s Company”, “The Love Boat”, and the introduction of MTV. These things that once seemed titillating are now laughable and dated. Today even the advertisements for computers have seductive women slowly licking their blood red lips.
People are driven by things that make our hearts beat faster and that make us feel a thrill, a “rush”. It can be as benign as Starbuck’s coffee or as malignant as heroin. Regarding the recent rash of child abductions, newscasters often ask the question “What motivates men to abduct these children?” I can only come back to the rush. It isn’t like they reason out, “Gee, its 10am, I think I’ll go abduct, rape, and murder a kid before lunch.” This isn’t a matter of reason; it is done for the thrill of the moment. It isn’t for sex, per se, it is for the heart-pounding rush of being completely evil or carrying out a fantasy that is clearly forbidden, although with the sexual aspect it incorporates the additional endorphins and pleasure centers that make it that much more appealing and addicting. This is why a man where I worked sat inside a building being evacuated for a gas leak, so no one would bother him while he surfed porn. (He was fired when everyone came back in and found him.) This is why a happily married man would go to a whorehouse and die of a heart attack in bed with a prostitute. This is why men spend billions annually on the same images over and over again. I believe that there is also an unseen enemy, the devil, that pushes people towards things that will destroy themselves and others. He and his crew watch a person and before too long they figure out what that person’s “buttons” are and start hammering away. It isn’t that “the devil made me do it”, but that he exploits the weakness and willingness within the person, and gives them that extra push and extra thrill that make them crave it again and again. It usually starts with a fantasy that seems extra thrilling, which gets replayed over and over until the guy wants to act upon it. The thing that once thrilled gets dull after a while and something more extreme has to replace it. Guys that seem normal will “suddenly” turn out to be a devil. But in reality, it was a long time brewing. Ted Bundy, for example, was a nice looking young guy that probably could have had a wife and kids and lived a normal life. But he liked the rush he got when he fantasized about rape, until he started acting it out. A bunch of people were hurt and many died, including himself.
Drug addiction is rampant throughout the world. People will steal and kill to get enough money for a fix. Organized crime makes the vast majority of its money through drug sales. Lesser legal drugs like alcohol and cigarettes have a more socially acceptable aura, but are based on the same idea – a rush or a numbing effect. But the same excess is seen everyday with these drugs. Drunk drivers, drunk airline pilots, chain smokers, smokers with their larynx cut out from cancer who still smoke because it is perceived as their only pleasure in life.
The theme through all of these various avenues is the “rush”. It is the most popular form of entertainment, though it may take different forms externally. It is such a powerful motivator that people will destroy themselves and others to get it. Lab rats have been shown to prefer the rush of sexual stimulation to food, to such an extent that they starved to death rather than lose the rush. So when entertainment becomes more important than going to work, when the rush is more important than the safety of others, the result is a slow collapse of the structure of society. Self-interest becomes more important than caring for others. My own perceived need to feel the rush is more important than your wellbeing or life. Reality starts to get in the way of the fantasy, so reality has to go. The Bible says, “The time is coming when men will not endure sound doctrine. Instead to suit their own desires, they will gather around them teachers who tell them what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn aside from the truth to believe myths.” “Many false prophets will appear and will deceive many. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” People will turn to what pleases them instead of what is true and good. Comfort outweighs truth.
For those in the “world”, as the Bible calls it, there is little reason to change this behavior. But for those who want to follow Jesus, it is essential. I believe that escaping a pattern of behavior requires an understanding of the nature of the pattern. For many Christian men, the struggle with pornography is intense and embarrassing. Some try to excuse it, but many really want to be free while at the same time finding themselves really enjoying it and wanting more. Many don’t want to admit that the reason they look is because it is enjoyable, but that is the basis for almost all sin. We don’t want to admit that our very nature can crave something that isn’t right. We know consciously that it is wrong, but the rush drives us on to carry out our desires. The Bible says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This isn’t a magic verse that suddenly sets us free. It involves both a conscious decision and a taming of the mind. I find parallels in other religions, like Buddhism, where adherents seek to be free from ambition and straying thoughts. They, too, see the benefit in having a mind that is focused and disciplined; something that the Western mind rebels against as it revels in its “rights”. By subjugating the “rush” to the will of God, I can take the first step towards the cross of Christ. Jesus told us that to follow him meant tortuous death every day. Almost all of the things that move me to indulge the flesh are contrary to the way of the cross. God gave us food and marriage and even adrenaline glands, so those things are not evil. But we have a nature that continually wants to be self-serving, and that has to die. Every day. On a cross of torture. Even the people I know whom I consider the most submitted to God tell me how God keeps taking them farther into areas of submission. So, it can be done. All it takes is for us to be willing to fight our way to the cross and die, and thus gain the life that Christ promises us.
It isn’t fun; it isn’t pleasant. A goblet of wine and a Roman orgy seem so much more appealing than being nailed to a cross. But then again Heaven seems much more appealing than eternity in a burning hell. Knowing God seems much more appealing than ignorantly groping my way through life, only half-living, and missing out on the tremendous blessing of being a child of the Living God. Jesus said that there will be many in the end who will weep and gnash their teeth, because they will see Heaven before them and know that instead they have only intense suffering and a continual assault on every physical sense for the rest of eternity. It was within their grasp, but they traded it for the rush.
For those who will embrace the cross, there is life. I have been touched by a real God and to deny Him would be to deny reality. I have had power course through my body that was not the product of emotional hype or drugs, but was a tiny bit of the presence of the King of the universe. I want to know Him more and to be one of the few who submit to Him, enduring until the end. The rush of the flesh is amazing, but temporary. King David wrote:
One of the elders around God’s throne spoke about those who endured the tribulation and will die rather than give in:
That is where I want to be forever. That is worth denying the destructive urges of the flesh. He is worth dying for and living for. Take me to your cross Lord Jesus! I am a wicked man and I want to die so your life can be seen, and your glory shown to a dead world. You can feed the hungry and heal the sick. You can raise the dead and grow limbs and eyes back. You can take the vile and wretched and make them saints of God, because of the mercy given to us in the blood of Jesus and in his resurrection.
I was pondering today why some people seem to be driven towards destructive behaviors. It started when I was watching TV and the increase of the sensuality and overt sexuality started to annoy me. I thought to myself, “Why not just take it to the end and look at the result. What the TV producers seem to want to show is people having sex all the time, anywhere, everywhere, with everyone.” Then I thought, “Why are people so drawn to this imagery anyway? They see the same poses, the same actions, often the same people over and over and over again, endlessly showing the same thing, and yet they are strongly motivated to see it again.” The porn industry profits billions of dollars annually because people, men especially, are driven by something to see these images. Consciously, it makes no sense, since the images show the same thing repeatedly. One would think that there would be a finite number of these pictures and then the interest would fade, but that is not the case. Men are willing to lose their jobs to view porn. They are willing to lose their marriages and catch a disease to have sex with a prostitute. They are willing to spend billions collectively to get a glimpse of these images of sex. They will sneak around and put hidden cameras in toilets to catch a grainy glimpse of a woman on the potty. Why do they do this? What drives it?
I have also heard about people that are called “adrenaline junkies”, and have seen people do things to put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of getting a thrill. Some people like to ride roller coasters; some go to scary movies; some people jump off of bridges with parachutes; and some jump face down off of cliffs with only a batman suit. There is a “rush” that happens when you do that, and I don’t mean the rush of the wind. The mind sees what is happening and pumps adrenaline into the bloodstream so that you can react more quickly to the perceived danger. The heart rate increases dramatically, as does the breathing. Time slows down and the action that only takes a minute seems like it took forever. Every detail is remembered vividly, the mind seemed focused completely on the moment. Then it is all over, and you are safely back on the ground. Whee! Now what was scary is associated with good feelings and laughter. But it fades and all that is left is a craving for another rush.
Soldiers returning from a war often have difficulty adjusting to life back home. They have come from the most intense situations where at any moment an enemy may pop up and attack, where their buddies have blown up in their faces, where they were with a team dedicated to a single purpose and highly trained to see it through. The adrenaline glands are doing overtime pumping into the bloodstream what is needed for an instant response. Awareness levels are off the scale. Every detail is heightened. Though they are in extreme peril, they have never felt more alive. What was intended to be a temporary chemical enhancement to get through a difficulty became the normal operating mode. Now suddenly, they are back home with no threat, no team, no purpose, and no rush. Now they face the daily mundane tasks of a job, a wife who needs his love and can’t begin to understand the moment-by-moment trauma that he just came from, a crying baby that all his finely tuned martial skills can’t quiet, and the total vacuum of purpose and meaning. The rush that defined his life is gone and there is very little that comes close to replicating that constant adrenaline-soaked environment.
The TV industry is the focus of many people’s entertainment. We get our news, our styles, our music, our laughs, and our emotional support from the things we see and hear on that screen. Thirty years ago (1970’s), the most titillating show on TV was probably “Love American Style” which pushed the boundaries of the “establishment” morality. Mostly, there were cop shows like Cannon or Hawaii Five-O. In the 1980’s, things were pushed a little bit more with “Three’s Company”, “The Love Boat”, and the introduction of MTV. These things that once seemed titillating are now laughable and dated. Today even the advertisements for computers have seductive women slowly licking their blood red lips.
People are driven by things that make our hearts beat faster and that make us feel a thrill, a “rush”. It can be as benign as Starbuck’s coffee or as malignant as heroin. Regarding the recent rash of child abductions, newscasters often ask the question “What motivates men to abduct these children?” I can only come back to the rush. It isn’t like they reason out, “Gee, its 10am, I think I’ll go abduct, rape, and murder a kid before lunch.” This isn’t a matter of reason; it is done for the thrill of the moment. It isn’t for sex, per se, it is for the heart-pounding rush of being completely evil or carrying out a fantasy that is clearly forbidden, although with the sexual aspect it incorporates the additional endorphins and pleasure centers that make it that much more appealing and addicting. This is why a man where I worked sat inside a building being evacuated for a gas leak, so no one would bother him while he surfed porn. (He was fired when everyone came back in and found him.) This is why a happily married man would go to a whorehouse and die of a heart attack in bed with a prostitute. This is why men spend billions annually on the same images over and over again. I believe that there is also an unseen enemy, the devil, that pushes people towards things that will destroy themselves and others. He and his crew watch a person and before too long they figure out what that person’s “buttons” are and start hammering away. It isn’t that “the devil made me do it”, but that he exploits the weakness and willingness within the person, and gives them that extra push and extra thrill that make them crave it again and again. It usually starts with a fantasy that seems extra thrilling, which gets replayed over and over until the guy wants to act upon it. The thing that once thrilled gets dull after a while and something more extreme has to replace it. Guys that seem normal will “suddenly” turn out to be a devil. But in reality, it was a long time brewing. Ted Bundy, for example, was a nice looking young guy that probably could have had a wife and kids and lived a normal life. But he liked the rush he got when he fantasized about rape, until he started acting it out. A bunch of people were hurt and many died, including himself.
Drug addiction is rampant throughout the world. People will steal and kill to get enough money for a fix. Organized crime makes the vast majority of its money through drug sales. Lesser legal drugs like alcohol and cigarettes have a more socially acceptable aura, but are based on the same idea – a rush or a numbing effect. But the same excess is seen everyday with these drugs. Drunk drivers, drunk airline pilots, chain smokers, smokers with their larynx cut out from cancer who still smoke because it is perceived as their only pleasure in life.
The theme through all of these various avenues is the “rush”. It is the most popular form of entertainment, though it may take different forms externally. It is such a powerful motivator that people will destroy themselves and others to get it. Lab rats have been shown to prefer the rush of sexual stimulation to food, to such an extent that they starved to death rather than lose the rush. So when entertainment becomes more important than going to work, when the rush is more important than the safety of others, the result is a slow collapse of the structure of society. Self-interest becomes more important than caring for others. My own perceived need to feel the rush is more important than your wellbeing or life. Reality starts to get in the way of the fantasy, so reality has to go. The Bible says, “The time is coming when men will not endure sound doctrine. Instead to suit their own desires, they will gather around them teachers who tell them what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn aside from the truth to believe myths.” “Many false prophets will appear and will deceive many. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” People will turn to what pleases them instead of what is true and good. Comfort outweighs truth.
For those in the “world”, as the Bible calls it, there is little reason to change this behavior. But for those who want to follow Jesus, it is essential. I believe that escaping a pattern of behavior requires an understanding of the nature of the pattern. For many Christian men, the struggle with pornography is intense and embarrassing. Some try to excuse it, but many really want to be free while at the same time finding themselves really enjoying it and wanting more. Many don’t want to admit that the reason they look is because it is enjoyable, but that is the basis for almost all sin. We don’t want to admit that our very nature can crave something that isn’t right. We know consciously that it is wrong, but the rush drives us on to carry out our desires. The Bible says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This isn’t a magic verse that suddenly sets us free. It involves both a conscious decision and a taming of the mind. I find parallels in other religions, like Buddhism, where adherents seek to be free from ambition and straying thoughts. They, too, see the benefit in having a mind that is focused and disciplined; something that the Western mind rebels against as it revels in its “rights”. By subjugating the “rush” to the will of God, I can take the first step towards the cross of Christ. Jesus told us that to follow him meant tortuous death every day. Almost all of the things that move me to indulge the flesh are contrary to the way of the cross. God gave us food and marriage and even adrenaline glands, so those things are not evil. But we have a nature that continually wants to be self-serving, and that has to die. Every day. On a cross of torture. Even the people I know whom I consider the most submitted to God tell me how God keeps taking them farther into areas of submission. So, it can be done. All it takes is for us to be willing to fight our way to the cross and die, and thus gain the life that Christ promises us.
It isn’t fun; it isn’t pleasant. A goblet of wine and a Roman orgy seem so much more appealing than being nailed to a cross. But then again Heaven seems much more appealing than eternity in a burning hell. Knowing God seems much more appealing than ignorantly groping my way through life, only half-living, and missing out on the tremendous blessing of being a child of the Living God. Jesus said that there will be many in the end who will weep and gnash their teeth, because they will see Heaven before them and know that instead they have only intense suffering and a continual assault on every physical sense for the rest of eternity. It was within their grasp, but they traded it for the rush.
For those who will embrace the cross, there is life. I have been touched by a real God and to deny Him would be to deny reality. I have had power course through my body that was not the product of emotional hype or drugs, but was a tiny bit of the presence of the King of the universe. I want to know Him more and to be one of the few who submit to Him, enduring until the end. The rush of the flesh is amazing, but temporary. King David wrote:
How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light. (Psalm 36)
One of the elders around God’s throne spoke about those who endured the tribulation and will die rather than give in:
And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation;
they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
Therefore,
"they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."
That is where I want to be forever. That is worth denying the destructive urges of the flesh. He is worth dying for and living for. Take me to your cross Lord Jesus! I am a wicked man and I want to die so your life can be seen, and your glory shown to a dead world. You can feed the hungry and heal the sick. You can raise the dead and grow limbs and eyes back. You can take the vile and wretched and make them saints of God, because of the mercy given to us in the blood of Jesus and in his resurrection.
posted by Jason Woodrow at 10:21 PM
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