Conformity Revisited
It struck me today how groups of people around the world are drawn to conformity. Even those who strive to be different, tend to be different together with others like them. I’m thinking along the lines of hippies, Goths, environmentalists, vegans, and so on, but also world religions. Back in grade school, various cliques formed of like-minded people: jocks, theater, metal-heads, farmer types, rich kids, and geeks. Each group formed around concepts that they held dear, and the individuals tended to take on each other’s characteristics (dress, attitudes toward others, as well as speech patterns and vocabulary). Religions across the globe have sets of ideals, world-views, dress codes, behavioral expectations, dietary restrictions, physical alterations (circumcision, female “circumcision”, piercings, whippings). Variance with the local expectations usually brings shunning, violence, anger, verbal and real whippings, accusations, jail, cursing, all aimed at restoring conformity in the community.
Thus it seems that conformity is an extremely strong tendency amongst all of humanity, and is often taken with deadly seriousness. In America, we have seen this in the tension and hatred between races, the Salem witch trials, the division into cliques and gangs at school which have led to violence, conservatives and liberals each painting the other with large brush strokes of generalities and stereotypes.
It is religion that particularly draws my attention. My underlying suspicion about my own beliefs and why I hold to them, sets up a dissonance that I have to deal with, and thus this writing. Am I merely conforming to a pattern that was laid down in a Middle-Eastern tribal situation 2000 years ago, and drawing comfort from fitting in with others of similar faith? Am I simply being moved by forces of human behavior that motivate others around the world with similar emotional gravity, many willing to die or kill for their traditions and beliefs, or have I really encountered something genuine? And are my behaviors only similar, but stem from a different motivation?
If I had not heard the voice of God in response to a question (and even a confirmation when I asked), and if I had not been touched by His power tangibly, and had I not seen physical healings take place in my wife, then I would probably be done with religion at this point. There are many things that I don’t understand about the God of my faith. He is most definitely not made in my image. A few examples: I don’t understand the purpose of damnation instead of annihilation (or subjugation of a sort). I don’t understand why some are chosen to receive a spectacular salvation and intimacy with God, and most burn in torture that is unlike anything on Earth, given that the recipients cannot die and are subject to a continual barrage of the searing pain of being immersed in burning sulfur, extreme stench, rotten egg taste, ceaseless screams of those around them, the only view for their eternity is watching others in similar torment, and the hopeless knowledge that they will never be rescued from this fate. Or even simpler issues like sex. Why is it limited to the boundaries we were given in scripture? We can invent reasons after the fact, but God never really commented on it, it just seems to be assumed. (I should point out that I am not advocating rebellion here, just stating that I don't understand the "why" of some things.)
My walk with God has not been one marked by conformity. I have left the mainstream of church attendance, which has brought accusation of sin, and questioning by dear friends. I don’t think my motivation in pursuing God is one of pleasing people, or conforming to traditions that are only traditions. I first began seeking the Christian God when I was in 7th or 8th grade. No one preached to me, and my family did not attend church except very occasionally. (My parents quit going after their pastor took a special offering one Sunday, and gave it to his kids as a gift.) I feared the Devil and what he could do to me, and I had no perceived defense. I’m not sure why this was so palpable for me, but there it was. I sought out the only source of information I knew was authentic about Jesus – the Bible. I read and read, staying up all night, seeking some assurance that I could find protection from evil. I read the words of Jesus and took them at face value. During this time is when I “became a Christian”, though I couldn’t say when exactly. I started listening to preachers on the radio and shortwave, and kept reading the Bible. So my genesis as a believer was not so much formed by a desire to fit in with others as it was a desire for protection from evil, and to gain some standing with God.
I had previously mocked Christians and what I considered an unscientific viewpoint (which was mostly me parroting my family members, since I was still in grade school and hadn’t formed much of a world-view yet). But in one evening, out of sheer terror (having seen an excerpt from The Exorcist), I picked up and read most of the New Testament. I had tried reading from Genesis, but quickly jumped ahead to find some words of assurance. Then, having read Jesus’ words repeatedly, I found ground to put them into practice at school where I was harassed by jocks daily for being unlike them. Jesus said to not return evil for evil, so I didn’t; I smiled at them. I never told them why I didn’t fight back, and I assume they thought I was just a wimp. But I did what I was told to do by Jesus.
I think it was this approach that galvanized my walk with God before I ever started going to a church building. I wasn’t dependent on them for my sustenance, and when their traditions and behaviors diverted from the path as I saw it, I refused to follow. I couldn’t understand, and still don’t, why so many who call themselves believers put up with so much crap simply because the man in the pulpit endorses it. He isn’t a god, nor is he our go-between. He is a guy who went to seminary, or at least was approved to preach by the board of an institution of some sort. I also don’t “get” the behaviors and special language that Christians adopt. Some congregations are big into waving flags and beating tambourines. Some really get off on “prophetic utterances”, which are usually more vague than a horoscope. Some focus on “spiritual warfare” and have detailed manuals about how to deal with the spirits of the Enemy. Some speak in tongues, others forbid it. Some dance, others cringe at the thought. Some sing traditional hymns (mostly from the 1800’s onward), others sing choruses. Each tends to feel that their way is more right or at least more pleasing than their counterparts. Up until the late 1980’s, there was a lot of suspicion, disdain, and ill will between more conservative congregations and the more charismatic ones.
This all makes the simple goal of knowing God seem highly improbable, given that His children are so dedicated to conflicting forms and traditions that have little to do with Him, even though the forms and traditions were supposed to help people do it “right”. I have returned to my beginning and am trying to sort through the experiences and teachings I have received, hoping to reach a place that seems …right, at least right for me. I can’t tell the dancers to stop, or the stodgy to get up and boogie. I have to answer to God for my own walk, not theirs. To paraphrase Jesus, “What do you care what I do with that guy? You follow me.”
So I continue to believe, I continue to question and ponder the world around me, I write so that I can sort it all better, and perhaps help another soul along the way.
Thus it seems that conformity is an extremely strong tendency amongst all of humanity, and is often taken with deadly seriousness. In America, we have seen this in the tension and hatred between races, the Salem witch trials, the division into cliques and gangs at school which have led to violence, conservatives and liberals each painting the other with large brush strokes of generalities and stereotypes.
It is religion that particularly draws my attention. My underlying suspicion about my own beliefs and why I hold to them, sets up a dissonance that I have to deal with, and thus this writing. Am I merely conforming to a pattern that was laid down in a Middle-Eastern tribal situation 2000 years ago, and drawing comfort from fitting in with others of similar faith? Am I simply being moved by forces of human behavior that motivate others around the world with similar emotional gravity, many willing to die or kill for their traditions and beliefs, or have I really encountered something genuine? And are my behaviors only similar, but stem from a different motivation?
If I had not heard the voice of God in response to a question (and even a confirmation when I asked), and if I had not been touched by His power tangibly, and had I not seen physical healings take place in my wife, then I would probably be done with religion at this point. There are many things that I don’t understand about the God of my faith. He is most definitely not made in my image. A few examples: I don’t understand the purpose of damnation instead of annihilation (or subjugation of a sort). I don’t understand why some are chosen to receive a spectacular salvation and intimacy with God, and most burn in torture that is unlike anything on Earth, given that the recipients cannot die and are subject to a continual barrage of the searing pain of being immersed in burning sulfur, extreme stench, rotten egg taste, ceaseless screams of those around them, the only view for their eternity is watching others in similar torment, and the hopeless knowledge that they will never be rescued from this fate. Or even simpler issues like sex. Why is it limited to the boundaries we were given in scripture? We can invent reasons after the fact, but God never really commented on it, it just seems to be assumed. (I should point out that I am not advocating rebellion here, just stating that I don't understand the "why" of some things.)
My walk with God has not been one marked by conformity. I have left the mainstream of church attendance, which has brought accusation of sin, and questioning by dear friends. I don’t think my motivation in pursuing God is one of pleasing people, or conforming to traditions that are only traditions. I first began seeking the Christian God when I was in 7th or 8th grade. No one preached to me, and my family did not attend church except very occasionally. (My parents quit going after their pastor took a special offering one Sunday, and gave it to his kids as a gift.) I feared the Devil and what he could do to me, and I had no perceived defense. I’m not sure why this was so palpable for me, but there it was. I sought out the only source of information I knew was authentic about Jesus – the Bible. I read and read, staying up all night, seeking some assurance that I could find protection from evil. I read the words of Jesus and took them at face value. During this time is when I “became a Christian”, though I couldn’t say when exactly. I started listening to preachers on the radio and shortwave, and kept reading the Bible. So my genesis as a believer was not so much formed by a desire to fit in with others as it was a desire for protection from evil, and to gain some standing with God.
I had previously mocked Christians and what I considered an unscientific viewpoint (which was mostly me parroting my family members, since I was still in grade school and hadn’t formed much of a world-view yet). But in one evening, out of sheer terror (having seen an excerpt from The Exorcist), I picked up and read most of the New Testament. I had tried reading from Genesis, but quickly jumped ahead to find some words of assurance. Then, having read Jesus’ words repeatedly, I found ground to put them into practice at school where I was harassed by jocks daily for being unlike them. Jesus said to not return evil for evil, so I didn’t; I smiled at them. I never told them why I didn’t fight back, and I assume they thought I was just a wimp. But I did what I was told to do by Jesus.
I think it was this approach that galvanized my walk with God before I ever started going to a church building. I wasn’t dependent on them for my sustenance, and when their traditions and behaviors diverted from the path as I saw it, I refused to follow. I couldn’t understand, and still don’t, why so many who call themselves believers put up with so much crap simply because the man in the pulpit endorses it. He isn’t a god, nor is he our go-between. He is a guy who went to seminary, or at least was approved to preach by the board of an institution of some sort. I also don’t “get” the behaviors and special language that Christians adopt. Some congregations are big into waving flags and beating tambourines. Some really get off on “prophetic utterances”, which are usually more vague than a horoscope. Some focus on “spiritual warfare” and have detailed manuals about how to deal with the spirits of the Enemy. Some speak in tongues, others forbid it. Some dance, others cringe at the thought. Some sing traditional hymns (mostly from the 1800’s onward), others sing choruses. Each tends to feel that their way is more right or at least more pleasing than their counterparts. Up until the late 1980’s, there was a lot of suspicion, disdain, and ill will between more conservative congregations and the more charismatic ones.
This all makes the simple goal of knowing God seem highly improbable, given that His children are so dedicated to conflicting forms and traditions that have little to do with Him, even though the forms and traditions were supposed to help people do it “right”. I have returned to my beginning and am trying to sort through the experiences and teachings I have received, hoping to reach a place that seems …right, at least right for me. I can’t tell the dancers to stop, or the stodgy to get up and boogie. I have to answer to God for my own walk, not theirs. To paraphrase Jesus, “What do you care what I do with that guy? You follow me.”
So I continue to believe, I continue to question and ponder the world around me, I write so that I can sort it all better, and perhaps help another soul along the way.
posted by Jason Woodrow at 11:22 PM
